7 Unexpected Ways Your Mental Health May Be Impacted By Sleep Deprivation After Baby

Have you ever had a night you spent googling “how to get my baby to sleep better” or “when will my baby sleep more?” Yup, us too. But have you ever spent nights doing the same thing about how the lack of sleep you are getting is actually impacting YOU… outside of just being tired? We meet so many parents that just think they are “bad parents” because the sleep deprivation they are experiencing has started to impact their mental health, but they aren’t realizing many of the symptoms they are experiencing are due to lack of sleep. 

Here's a list of 7 ways you might be impacted by sleep deprivation: 

1. Mood: You may experience unexpected changes in your mood or notice that you don’t feel like yourself. You may notice more feelings of sadness, irritability, less patience, anger, or crying more than usual.

2. Fatigue: Although you may have expected to be tired after baby, you may not have expected to feel as fatigued and unable to have the energy to take care of even your basic needs like brushing your teeth or getting a shower some days. Even taking care of your baby or playing with them can feel difficult when you are super fatigued and tired. Enter in mom guilt (uuughh).

3. Somatic reactions: Although it may seem surprising, your sleep deprivation can impact you in physical ways too. Some common ways this can show up is headaches, stomach upset, feeling hot, jaw pain, dizziness, or unexplained joint pain. 

4. Memory: When you don’t get enough sleep it can impact your brain’s ability to focus, concentrate, or retain details you would normally be able to prior to becoming a parent. This can make you feel foggy, almost “out of it,” or leave you feeling really disorganized. And when this impacts your ability to show up in the way you want to as a mom… again, helloooooo mom guilt. 

5. Decrease in desire for sex: You likely have less time or energy for sex, and sleep deprivation can also impact your desire as a new parent. It’s not only feeling tired, but the added stress that sleep deprivation can have on your desire to engage in sex with your partner. Talking about this as a couple can be valuable in reducing the potential for feelings of rejection, guilt, or hurt for either partner. 

6. It may be harder to eat nutritious foods or exercise: Sleep deprivation can impact your cravings for food to be more directed towards comfort foods that tend to be less nutritious, which further increases the cycle of fatigue since you may not be getting the nutrients you are needing to feel energetic. What may have felt simple before the baby, may now feel overwhelming when you think about the time it may take to prepare a more nutritious snack or meal. You may also find that you are using food to cope with the overwhelm because of the temporary comfort it may provide in a time where you are needing your own nurturing the most. Often times you may feel as if you need rest and are constantly on the go and doing chores, so the thought of getting exercise or moving your body can feel overwhelming. 

7. Increase in overwhelm and overstimulation: If you’re like most new moms out there you’re learning to manage all the new things with your baby, you’re learning about who you are as a new parent, AND you’re doing it all while sleep deprived. This can cause you to have a lower ability to tolerate stress, noises, extra tasks, or even your normal daily routine and to-do’s can feel overwhelming. This can cause you to snap or feel resentment towards your partner or other parents who you may be comparing yourself to. 

Here’s the thing, being a new parent can be really vulnerable. And SO many new moms we talk to aren’t talking about this stuff. But why? I don’t know about you, but for us and many of the moms we’ve worked with we attribute all of these symptoms above to the fact that we must be “bad moms.” That this is “normal” and we “should be able to deal with it.” Instead of attributing these symptoms to the real culprit: sleep deprivation. Sound familiar?

But what if you could get some answers, and some strategies you could use to make it better? Evidence-based stuff that could ACTUALLY help? … Enter the amazing people at Restfully. 

We asked Restfully Co-Founder and Chief Education Officer, Arielle Greenleaf and she gave us a few tips… 

There isn’t really anything that can prepare you for the shock of disrupted sleep after becoming a parent. Newborns, in particular, wake frequently to eat both during the day and overnight. Newborn sleep is erratic so sleep can come in spells as short as 20 minutes or as long as 3-4 hours. Predicting when you’ll get those longer stretches of sleep can be tricky. 

4 Sleep Tips for New Parents:

1. Involve Your Partner – Having your partner help is essential. If you’re bottle feeding (formula or breastmilk), take shifts – one handles the first half of the night and one handles the second half of the night. If you’re a nursing mom whose breast milk is well established, you can even have your partner handle some night wakings while you wake quickly to pump and go back to sleep. If your partner works during the day, have them help you with the baby when they return home in the evenings while you catch some extra shuteye. You can do this on weekends as well. 

2. Sleep When Baby Sleeps I know, I know… so triggering right?! But really here's what I mean— forget about the dishes and laundry for a bit and instead focus on rest while your baby is napping. Try to go to bed when your baby goes to bed even if it’s early. The first stretch of sleep of the night is the first to consolidate for babies. This generally happens around the 6–8-week mark. Take advantage of this stretch!

3. Routine I realize a routine may sound hard to achieve especially because I just shared that newborn sleep is erratic. Routines, however, help establish circadian rhythms. Circadian rhythms are what help your newborn’s sleep become less erratic. In the early weeks and months, try to get your baby down for naps every 45-60 minutes. Remember, this amount of time INCLUDES feeding time. So, if your baby wakes at 8 and eats until 8:30, you’re only looking at an additional 15-30 minutes before your baby will need to sleep again.Try to start and end your day around the same time each day. Having this predictability will work in your favor to help your baby's sleep become more consistent.

4. Ask for Help Our society rarely shows reality when it comes to life as a new parent. Images of adoration and joy abound when it comes to mom and baby. Moms are seemingly so in love and able to balance recovery from birth, keeping a new human alive, and attending to normal daily household tasks. The truth of the matter is that this is not reality! It truly takes a village to care for a new baby but also a new parent. Do not be afraid to ask for help.

Our coaches at Restfully are trained to help educate and support new parents as they navigate what to expect. In fact, we’re here to support parents of children from ages 0-6 years! Often, just knowing what is “normal” for a newborn can be reassuring. If you’re struggling, schedule a free call to learn more about how we can help support you. Join us Live on Instagram with Thrive After Baby on Wednesday, January 11 at 9am PST/12pm EST for a special discount code!