10 Tips for New Parents: Surviving the Newborn Stage

Are you wondering how to prepare for your baby in the first few weeks postpartum? Or maybe you've heard about the challenges your friends experienced and you're looking to understand how to survive the initial weeks with your newborn? Or you’re just looking for simple tips on how to make the transition to parenthood with more ease? If so, keep reading!

I have 10 tips that I think not only help you survive, but thrive, in those early sleep deprived weeks.

1. Take a shower. This sounds simple but can feel impossible quickly. The transition to motherhood often means putting your little one first and your hygiene second in those early months postpartum. Ask for help from your partner, friends, or family to get a quick shower. Many moms tell me they have a hard time leaving their babies with their partner because they can hear their partner and baby becoming stressed or crying. Just as it can be difficult for new moms to manage the internal stress of a baby’s cry, it can be for dads too. It’s actually good for dad and baby to be alone, have time to connect, and for dad to see he can do it alone (even if it’s stressful). If no one is around, my favorite tool is a baby rocker, particularly one that can fold flat like this one. This tool would be in my top three baby items for new parents because it allows you the freedom to take a shower from day one without any assistance. This is especially great if you are alone a lot during the early days after the baby is born. Many parents lack adequate support or their partner has to go back to work earlier than ideal. Having a baby rocker can allow you to go to the bathroom, shower, do laundry or dishes, bring it when you visit friends or family, or even get a nice stretching or mini workout session in. The key is one that is compact, mobile, and folds flat for easy storage or travel.

2. Set boundaries on visits. Talk with your partner about how you each feel about visitors in the early weeks after delivery. Make sure to listen to your partner’s perspective. You may learn something you didn’t realize about why visitors are or are not part of how they imagine their recovery, or first weeks as a parent. Some new parents love visitors, while others may feel vulnerable to parenting feedback, physically uncomfortable, or all of the above. It’s okay to say yes to visitors, say no to visitors, or even cancel or change your mind at the last minute with visitors. You are going through a major life transition, it’s okay to ask for what you need.

3. Be kind and patient, with your baby, your partner, and yourself. Having a baby is hard work! And I’m not just talking about all the diaper changes, sleepless nights, and everything else you have to learn overnight. I’m talking about the social and emotional changes few speak about until you are already in it. You are learning a ton of new things about your new baby, your partner, and yourself. You will notice things about your partner and yourself that you never noticed or thought were resolved. You may feel frustrated at times, sad, or even angry. Remember to breathe, be kind to yourself, and direct your feelings where they belong. If you’re exhausted and you find yourself snapping at your partner or being less patient with your baby, remember you are angry/frustrated because of lack of sleep, not because your partner is an “idiot,” doesn’t get it,” or that your baby is a “bad baby.” Take a deep breath and talk about your frustrations, your exhaustion with your partner and make a plan, or adjust your current one to help you get a little boost of sleep. Sometimes we just need one good night to boost us for several days. You won’t be perfect, none of us are. You may snap, you may see versions of yourself that you would prefer to forget… breathe… forgive yourself… and keep going. This time will pass and things will get better.

4. Get outside every day. Time spent in the sun everyday can have a huge impact on our mental health and overall wellness. This becomes even more important when we become new parents and you may find it hard to get out of the house with the constant feeding and frequent napping that go along with a new baby. However, babies are sensitive to the sun, so remember while you’re getting sunlight, the baby should be out of direct sunlight under an umbrella, cool stroller, or hat. Talk to your pediatrician about your baby’s time spent in the outdoors or sunlight for more information.

5. Get exercise. I’m not talking high intensity workouts or anything even close. I’m talking about walking, stretching, or yoga. Having trouble with your pelvic floor post baby? Consider visiting your local physical therapist specializing in pelvic floor issues. Many moms report needing less sessions than expected and have great results returning to activities they love to do.

6. Learn about basic baby cues. You are going to be learning a lot about being a new parent, but you’re also trying to learn it with someone who initially can’t express their needs in a language you may understand yet. Take some time to learn about basic baby cues for hunger, tiredness, and over and under stimulation. These cues will help you better understand your baby's needs and therefore reduce parent and baby crying episodes due to communication barriers early on.

7. Take a nap or a rest when you can. Sleep is crucial when you are a new parent. When friends or family ask what they can do to help, a great ask is for them to watch the baby for an hour or two while you take a guilt free nap. It can be nice to know that even if the baby is sleeping, someone else will attend to them first if needed so you can get in those much needed zzzz’s. If your current support system doesn’t allow for this, or you struggle to nap, think about getting as much rest as you can. Resting can be laying down, reading a book, listening to music, or watching a show you like. The goal with rest is not to sleep, but instead relax and rest our body to recharge it for the next wake and feeding cycle with your new baby.

8. Food Prep! Whether you set up a meal train with a group of friends or local church, use a food delivery service, or pre-prep some easy meals yourself, make a food plan for at least the first two weeks after delivering your baby.

9. Let it go and keep things simple in the early months. Let go of the perfect house, being the perfect partner, or anything else you are hard on yourself for right now and be gentle on yourself! Babies won’t remember if the house was perfect, laundry was always done, or if you ever wear makeup. They love you and just want time with you.

10. Enroll in one of our courses. Whether you're expecting or just figuring out this new parenting stuff, our courses can help you and your partner strengthen your relationship, individual identities, & manage the stress that can come with a new baby, so you can be better parents for your baby. If you like these tips, you’ll love our full course! Check out our course HERE today.

Author: Sasha McPherson, LMFT